Three weeks ago my husband of more than 11 years died in his sleep. He was only 47 and it was very unexpected and sudden. He wasn't in the best health, he had problems with bone loss in both hips, back problems, but I still believe he had several more years yet to live. I still feel like I'm in shock. All the things that we used to do together living our lives, I now do myself. All day Thursday I kept telling myself not to forget to put out the trash cans for Friday morning pick up. Wes was the one who did most of the food shopping and most of the cooking. Fortunately he made sure that we are well stocked up with canned goods and a full freezer. I just have to try to figure out what to do with it. Our labradoodle Hiedi was his dog, she chose him and was his constant companion since we brought her home as a 9 week puppy. The first night after he died I had her in my room and most of the night she laid on my bed, head up whining at the door, waiting for Wes to walk in and get her. The next day we cleared out his bedroom, so his scent was gone and that pretty much cut out the whining. A few days later she went into heat and has other things on her mind now. Hiedi is also just one of the pack with the dogs that live at my house, before she was singled out by Wes and they were more like a pack themselves. So it's actually better for her to back in the pack with the other dogs. Well except for Fritz, I don't want to bred her this heat and I've learn from experience that Fritz is fast and will tie to one of my mom's before you even know he was close by her. His is determined to do his job and do it well. So the best way to avoid him fathering an unplanned litter is to completely separate him. I miss my husband everyday that passes, it's hard not seeing him when I come home from work and it's hard not having him to talk to about everything and run my ideals about stuff I'm planning out by him and getting his input. I miss hearing him say "I'm working on it"
